people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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