I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
