I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
