WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
