Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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