just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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