I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
