everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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