so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
