I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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