I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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