I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
