I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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