Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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