i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
