It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize