I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
