im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
