I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
