Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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