I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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