Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize