I heard we made out
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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