on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
