I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
