You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
