You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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