I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
