I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
that is very illegal...i love you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
