im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
