Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
