"it" just moved
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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