Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Randomize
