Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.