O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.