My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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