I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
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UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
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Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode