he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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