they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love having hate sex.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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