i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
