Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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