McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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