So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
