I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
