That's intense
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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