so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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