It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
