My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
