Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
