if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
