you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
