Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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