I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
