why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
