no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
