the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
