how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
