You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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