I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
