We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
