I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
