It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
