He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize