I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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