Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
